“Why should we wait a whole year for one supposedly special day to celebrate our love and affection to one another?”
Believe it or not but we were still young and in the throws of a blossoming love when my now wife asked me this question several years ago. We were still dating and the thought of making babies together hadn’t even crossed our lightning fast minds.
I admit I was really relieved. You have to understand there’s incredible pressure on us men to deliver a spectacular once in a year romantic experience every 14th February for the women in our lives. Plus I was quite broke at that time so I was bound to disappoint.
But isn’t it funny how valentines isn’t so much a holiday for couples to celebrate their love as it is for the ladies to out-do each other by having their romance inept men very publicly shower them with gifts, treats and excessive excursions? I never see the women going crazy about what they must do for their man or the men spending the whole day waiting for cards and chocolates. I think that says a lot, don’t you?
Anyways, back to my story. I was relieved that not only did I not have to break the already broken bank to impress this amazing woman with usual expensive repertoire for Valentines but more so because I found someone who shared my own appreciation for the shallowness of the whole thing.
Here’s the reality. You simply cannot claim to love someone on one special day in the year and then spend the other three hundred and sixty four treating them like your servant or doormat. Yet that’s the deception we have bought into. There is no one special day in the year to show your love for your mate. Every day is special.
I can boldly say that this sort of thinking is actually killing our relationships. Remembering how special your mate is, usually the ladies, once or twice a year simply doesn’t cut it. Now while this may not affect the males as much, seeing as women are the more emotionally intelligent of the species, over time it does get both parties feeling less than valued when acknowledged so rarely.
So my wife and I decided we won’t celebrate Valentine’s. There’s no point. Instead, we came up with a much better way born out of a simple, wild thought spoken out loud.
“Instead of ‘Happy Valentines Day’ once a year, how about “Happy Our Day”, every day of the year?”
The key principal of Valentine’s is to celebrate love through unique, uncommon and often very public gestures. Those amazing feelings aroused at the end of the day prove we all love the doting and attention in front of our friends and peers. Now imagine the impact it would have on your relationship if you did smaller shows of love every day throughout the year instead? Dynamite!
It’s in the simple things. A wild rose picked from the wayside on one day, a slice of her favorite cake the next, a bow wrapped beer for him after a long day at work the other. The options are only limited to your imagination. Be creative and find ways to use the common mundane things in a fresher, newer way to express your love.
As you celebrate your mate in this simple daily manner, I guarantee a ground swell of love and affection will be reciprocated from the other side. Now ladies, I urge you to take the lead on this as we men are a little slow when it comes to expressing love but show us the way and if that’s really the man who’s good for you, he will follow soot. You merely need to agree on this ‘every day is valentines’ way of doing things.
And if you still believe in the magic appeal of Valentines day, please by all means go ahead and enjoy it. Just make sure it’s a grand finale to a year long, daily celebration. One that marks the end of one yearly love cycle and the glorious start of the next.
Happy Our Day.